Self Belief Unsquashed

159: Can you Fake your Personality?

'Just be yourself' - what does that mean to you? This well meaning advice needs a closer look. In this episode you'll discover that personality is not a label or stone sculpture round our neck - we can become something we are not without being a con artist! We can adopt what Brian R Little calls - a 'free trait'. Intriqued?
Listen to this short unsquasher episode to learn more - and gain insights into ways in which you can 'be yourself' a bit differently!
The way you approach interviews, presentations, networking conversations and all sorts of situations - will be greatly enhanced by understanding more about your eminently mutable self! Health and happiness benefits too!
Referenced in this episode: Book - Me, Myself and Us by Brian R Little 
Research - Self monitoring Scale - Mark Snyder (1979) See this article from 'The Cut' - where you will also find the scale itself. 
Video version of this episode.
PDF transcript at trishalewis.com - podcast page.
 
Enjoy the episode and subscribe. Please take time to leave a review on your favourite platform to help spread the word if you find this podcast informative, motivating, enjoyable or simply 'calming'!
Find out more about my communication and confidence coaching services as well as my unsquashing mission (the book, the TEDx) at trishalewis.com.

158: Don't Calm Down Dear

When you are feeling a nervous mess before public speaking, interviews or any performance event where you fear messing up.... the friendly advice is 'calm down - breathe deep - visualise lovely things' etc! You tell yourself to 'calm down' as you see your hands trembling and feel your stomach full of butterflies.... but.... what if there was a better way to proceed that seems very counter-instinctive?
This short unsquasher episode explores an alternative way. Inspired by reading a highly recommended book - 'Cringeworthy' by Melissa Dahl and some research refrenced by the author.
Book and research links and transcript PDF in shownotes at https://trishalewis.com/
 
Video of this episode
 
Enjoy the episode and subscribe. Please take time to leave a review on your favourite platform to help spread the word if you find this podcast informative, motivating, enjoyable or simply 'calming'!
Find out more about my communication and confidence coaching services as well as my unsquashing mission (the book, the TEDx) at trishalewis.com.

157: Feed Your Growth. Alan Braithwaite

As a human you are motivated to learn, develop and grow. But it can't just be about study and fancy qualifications surely. What are the basic feeders of personal growth or even business, hobby skills growth?
Welcome to an episode full of those growth feeders.
My guest Alan Braithwaite (see previous episode with Emily Braithwaite) - is co founder of 'Yellow Tuxedo' - helping businesess be visible online.  But he and Emily have also built a brilliant community called 'Digital Circus' - helping smaller businesses by real practical tips and - so much more.  That 'more' is the power of a team. The growth ingredient of working together - and we unwrap that in this conversation.
Alan is a proud Scout leader - and you will be surprised by the learnings from this that are so relevant to us all as growing humans!
As Alan says:
"It's about fun, safety and adventure. And all of a sudden, you're an adult with all of these skills that you don't really remember learning then they just built into you."
From  a Top Gun Maverick mantra to Scouting stories to very real observations about community, fun, motivation - squashing and unsquashing - this is a rich listen.
 
Alan Braithwaite is the co-founder of Yellow Tuxedo.  -  The online visibility specialists.  
 

156: Exploring Your Options. Trisha Lewis

You are feeling a bit stale and stuck. Your motivation is wobbly. Time to explore your options you think. But how you go about this exploration might be more meaningful than you realise.  This episode explores how to explore.  
The episode is inspired by the journaler and author Marion Milner (aka Joanna Field) and the two psychologists behind the self-discovery tool known as the 'Johari Window'.
What would you think if you were invited to explore your options by exploring your unknown unknowns?
What does it mean to explore with 'wide attention' versus 'narrow attention'?
How can you practically use these insights to go on a mini voyage of discovery - a bit like being aboard the Starship Enterprise - but very down to earth.
 
You can see the video of this episode on my YouTube Channel.
If the concept of 'unsquashing' intriques you - I invite you to explore my book and TEDx talk and connect with me on Instagram and LinkedIn.  
Or just head over to my website for links and more resources.

155: Manage negative self talk with this mind trick. Trisha Lewis.

Stop beating yourself up! Not so easy. Negative self talk, inner critic, catastrophising, self-doubt spirals - they are a natural consequence of being human.
But - our rush to beat ourselfs up when we believe we have 'failed' in some way - is a real squasher! It stops us moving forward and often results in us wallowing in a swamp of self-doubt for hours, weeks or even years!
In this episode you will join me in exploring why we do this negative self-talk and - crucially - how we can manage it - accept it and then do something to move us forward.
There is a kind of mind trick involved - and it revolves around a well researched concept - 'distanced self talk' -  Article here.
I also recommend the book - 'Chatter' by Ethan Kross.
And - my book - 'The Mystery of the Squashed Self' and TEDx talk.
 
Subscribe and share - please!

154: Flourishing as an individual in a collective. With Emily Braithwaite

How to flourish as an individual in a Collective. Have you found your tribe? Do you feel valued for your individual approach and contribution whilst also part of a supportive group with shared aims?
Emily Braithwaite is the co founder of 'Yellow Tuxedo' - online visibility for small business owners. They have a brilliant community called Digital Circus and so she understands this need for being amongst a group that see you as an individual. In this episode you also hear her squashing and unsquashing story and how she maintains her individuality whilst working with her husband!
Emily also shares an inspiring story about a recent trip to Malawi with a group of women - to work with a group of aspiring business women. A gripping listen!
The podcast with full PDF Transcript is on my website - also on all main pod platforms. https://trishalewis.com/unsquashed-blog/
Emily Braithwaite - Yellow Tuxedo Website: https://www.yellowtuxedo.co.uk/
 
NB - If you prefer to watch - the video is on my YouTube channel - here: https://youtu.be/dtYLYjcxWxQ?feature=shared
 
Enjoy the episode and subscribe. Please take time to leave a review on your favourite platform to help spread the word if you find this podcast informative, motivating, enjoyable or simply 'calming'! Find out more about my communication and confidence coaching services as well as my unsquashing mission (the book, the TEDx) at https://trishalewis.com/stay-unsquashed/

153: Navigating Feelings of Inferiority When Others Shine.

Do you get a pang of feeling inferior when you hear someone else being praised. You know it is irrational. You don't want to be an envious type. You want to feel fine about other people being great! The problem is - you are reacting from your self-squashed self! How to stop this odd form of comparisonitis? How to embrace other people's achievments without seeing it as a dig at you - that someone you are 'less than'?
 
In this short unsquasher episode you will be asked to do an audit on the FIBs that might be fuelling this reaction - the fears, illusions and baggage. 
Short and sweet - and very human real!
 
Full transcript at www.trishalewis.com - pod/blog page.
Video version on my YouTube channel.
Subscribe to this podcast for the short unsquashers and the longer explorations with fascinating guests.

152: Believe in the value of your non-fiction book idea. Helen Pollock

Why are you allowing self-doubt to squash your non-fiction book idea? Why do women in particular have deep fears about being judged negatively if they publish a non-fiction book about the thing they have tons of experience in - that will help others? What are the procrastination demons and what do you do to get unstuck and belief in your right to write that book!
 
My guest is Helen Pollock - founder of 'Her Next Chapter' - with a rich background in PR, Ghostwriting and content coaching.  She is on a mission to help women entrepreneurs create more impact, inspire others and build a legacy no-one can take away from them, by writing a business book to be proud of.
Quote: (Helen frequently hears this from her clients)
"Am I being arrogant? Am I showing off? Will people judge me for doing this - for writing this - for little old me writing a book."
 
More details on the resource Helen is offering can be found here.
 
Full episode transcript on podcast page here.
YouTube video version here.
 

151: Are you who you think you are?

This is about identity labels and growth mindset versus fixed mindset. What lies behind phrases such as 'not my thing' or 'never been like that'? Time for an audit on how much 'should' your are doing - because you have got stuck in a stale and potentially squashed identity. You will hear a short but very real example of the way we get stuck and the way we can unstick and embrace new phases of identity evolution! A short unsquasher episode. 
 
Transcript at trishalewis.com - pod/blog page.
Video version on my YouTube Channel.

150: Narcissistic Abuse - understand and heal. Guest Amanda Craven

You have heard about narcissists - but how do you know if one is in your life? How do you know that your deflating, inhibiting lack of self-belief is due to ongoing or past narcissistic abuse? My guest Amanda Craven is a clinical hypnotherapist who helps people recover from emotional trauma. She shares her personal story - as does your host! Insights and practical steps as always.
 
For episode transcript - head to www.trishalewis.com pod/blog section.
You can view this episode on my YouTube channel