Self Belief Unsquashed

153: Navigating Feelings of Inferiority When Others Shine.

Do you get a pang of feeling inferior when you hear someone else being praised. You know it is irrational. You don't want to be an envious type. You want to feel fine about other people being great! The problem is - you are reacting from your self-squashed self! How to stop this odd form of comparisonitis? How to embrace other people's achievments without seeing it as a dig at you - that someone you are 'less than'?
 
In this short unsquasher episode you will be asked to do an audit on the FIBs that might be fuelling this reaction - the fears, illusions and baggage. 
Short and sweet - and very human real!
 
Full transcript at www.trishalewis.com - pod/blog page.
Video version on my YouTube channel.
Subscribe to this podcast for the short unsquashers and the longer explorations with fascinating guests.

152: Believe in the value of your non-fiction book idea. Helen Pollock

Why are you allowing self-doubt to squash your non-fiction book idea? Why do women in particular have deep fears about being judged negatively if they publish a non-fiction book about the thing they have tons of experience in - that will help others? What are the procrastination demons and what do you do to get unstuck and belief in your right to write that book!
 
My guest is Helen Pollock - founder of 'Her Next Chapter' - with a rich background in PR, Ghostwriting and content coaching.  She is on a mission to help women entrepreneurs create more impact, inspire others and build a legacy no-one can take away from them, by writing a business book to be proud of.
Quote: (Helen frequently hears this from her clients)
"Am I being arrogant? Am I showing off? Will people judge me for doing this - for writing this - for little old me writing a book."
 
More details on the resource Helen is offering can be found here.
 
Full episode transcript on podcast page here.
YouTube video version here.
 

151: Are you who you think you are?

This is about identity labels and growth mindset versus fixed mindset. What lies behind phrases such as 'not my thing' or 'never been like that'? Time for an audit on how much 'should' your are doing - because you have got stuck in a stale and potentially squashed identity. You will hear a short but very real example of the way we get stuck and the way we can unstick and embrace new phases of identity evolution! A short unsquasher episode. 
 
Transcript at trishalewis.com - pod/blog page.
Video version on my YouTube Channel.

150: Narcissistic Abuse - understand and heal. Guest Amanda Craven

You have heard about narcissists - but how do you know if one is in your life? How do you know that your deflating, inhibiting lack of self-belief is due to ongoing or past narcissistic abuse? My guest Amanda Craven is a clinical hypnotherapist who helps people recover from emotional trauma. She shares her personal story - as does your host! Insights and practical steps as always.
 
For episode transcript - head to www.trishalewis.com pod/blog section.
You can view this episode on my YouTube channel

149: Fear of Being Boring. Trisha Lewis.

What lies behind your fear of being boring in conversations? Is this fear of other people thinking you are boring - holding you back and sucking the joy from social or work based conversations?
Welcome to another short unsquasher.
In this episode we unpack what you might mean by 'boring' and how to do the forensics with some simple steps that will give you a reframe and a refresh.
If you really are boring (and remember it is your inner fear at play) - there is hope!
For more on 'unsquashing' check out resources at www.trishalewis.com and my YouTube channel - Self Belief Unsquashed.
 

148: Confidence Building After Health Scare: With Crescentia Cook

How do you rebuild confidence and stop your self-belief being squashed when an unexpected health scare changes your world? My guest is 'Heart Healthy Living Coach - Crescentia Cook. She specialises in supporting those with Atrial Fibrillation. Her personal experience, knowledge and coaching expertise means this episode will be hugely valuable to you if you are dealing with anxiety that is 'shrinking your world' and messing with your confidence. Plenty of practical tips and resources for you to explore.
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Links to resources mentioned:
Books and events - Dr David Hamilton.  
https://drdavidhamilton.com/More about the science and research into EFT  https://eftinternational.org/discover-eft-tapping/eft-science-research/Havening https://www.havening.org/Crescentia Cook's website: www.hearthealthylivingcoach.co.uk
 
How Emotions Are Made - Dr Lisa Feldman Barrett
 
Rough TRANSCRIPT
 
- and more on 'Unsquashing' - head over to my website here. 
https://trishalewis.com

147: Take Back Your Power. Gerri McHugh

Self belief includes working on your sense of agency - taking back your power.  You have more power to create change in yourself and in the world than you realise. My guest Gerri McHugh is the founder of Global Health Film - her life and work challenges have meant nurturing her own self belief and that of her film makers too! But how exactly...?
 
PDF Transcript here
Gerri McHugh on LinkedIn
Global Health Film Website
Referenced in this episode:
Quotes:  
J M Storm - Find on Instagram or his poetry book on Amazon
Valentina White's chapter in: 'Creating Success: Entrepreneurs & Changemakers Share Wisdom on Achieving Success on Your Own Terms' - Amazon
TV series - My Mum Your Dad with Davina McCall - ITVx
 
Want to know more about 'unsquashing' self belief?  Visit my website.

146: Self Belief - What is it?

What does Self Belief feel like? Tricky to answer isn't it? In this episode I use the '5 Whys' questioning technique to dig a little deeper on that 'self belief feeling' thing. 
This questioning leads to another 2-word phrase - 'self squashing'. What is that? Well listen to this short unsquasher episode to find out.
Talking of 'self' - self awarness is an essential ingredient in finding and nurturing your unsquashed self - and that means doing forensics on the FIBs that hold you back -  that stands for something - listen and discover.
As always - the insights and the tips are for all us humans trying to live with joy, impact and growth in a fascinatingly complex world.
Want to explore 'Unsquashing' more?
My book:  The Mystery of the Squashed Self
TEDx Talk:  Beware the Self Squashing Prophecy
And sign up for my (non salesy) Unsquashed email. 

145: Recognise this Self Doubt Trigger. Trisha Lewis

Self doubt - if you are human you will know that feeling. But what about when it pops up seemingly randomly? What triggers that uncomfortable feeling of uselessness that can have you falling down the self-doubt spiral! This short episdoe explores squashing environmental triggers. I share great quotes from Ethan Cross, author of 'Chatter' and Dr. Tim O'Brien, author of "'Inner Story' and a tiny bit of basic psychology!
Remind yourself of the significance of self-awareness in identifying and addressing triggers that send you whizzing down the self-doubt spiral.
I share a personal experience and provides tips on activating a detective mindset to prevent falling into these spirals. Understanding the impact of environmental factors such as music, views, and workspace on our mood and self-confidence. 
This short episode packs a punch - encouraging listeners to regain control over their thoughts and emotions through self-awareness and curiosity
 
Self-doubt spirals and environmental triggers
Importance of self-awareness in identifying and addressing triggers
Activating a detective mindset to prevent self-doubt spirals
Environmental triggers affecting mood and self-confidence
Taking control of our environment to prevent self-doubt spirals
Examples of environmental triggers (music, views, workspace)Personal experience of overcoming self-doubt triggered by depressing music
Regaining confidence and joy by changing the environment
Importance of regaining control over thoughts and emotions
Power of self-awareness in preventing self-doubt spirals
ROUGH TRANSCRIPT OF EPISODE 
For more on 'staying unsquashed' - head to my website and follow me on LinkedIn.
 
For video of this episode PLUS more self-belief and confident communicator tips - head to my YouTube channel -  https://www.youtube.com/c/TrishaLewisTalks
 

144: The Power of Asking for Help: Guest Beverley Poole

Business mentor Beverley Poole gets real about the power of asking for help and we explore the challenge of asking for help. Beverley starts by sharing her unsquashing journey - she shares her experiences of working in a male-dominated environment and dealing with a difficult marriage and being a single parent. We talk about the importance of resilience, reflection, and gratitude in overcoming these challenges. Beverley emphasizes the need for a trusted support system and the value of living by one's own values. The conversation concludes with a discussion on the importance of communication, authenticity, and seeking support for personal and professional growth.
 
Beverley shares her insights such as:
The Stop Start Continue method
The 'who' and the 'woo-woo' people in your tribe!
Scaffolding (theory of psychology)
The stages of child development - and the challenges of lockdown.
 
She refers to my TEDx Talk - Beware the Self Squashing Prophecy -
and a poem - A Reason, A Season, A Lifetime. - this is that poem:
 
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,you will know what to do for each person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON,it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.They have come to assist you through a difficulty;to provide you with guidance and support;to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.They may seem like a godsend, and they are.They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON,because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.They may teach you something you have never done.They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
~ Author Unknown
 
Articles and links to videos on the topic of 'Unsquashing' - communication, confidence, self belief - PLUS a full transcript of this episode are available at trishalewis.com/podcast