Self Belief Unsquashed

149: Fear of Being Boring. Trisha Lewis.

What lies behind your fear of being boring in conversations? Is this fear of other people thinking you are boring - holding you back and sucking the joy from social or work based conversations?
Welcome to another short unsquasher.
In this episode we unpack what you might mean by 'boring' and how to do the forensics with some simple steps that will give you a reframe and a refresh.
If you really are boring (and remember it is your inner fear at play) - there is hope!
For more on 'unsquashing' check out resources at www.trishalewis.com and my YouTube channel - Self Belief Unsquashed.
 

148: Confidence Building After Health Scare: With Crescentia Cook

How do you rebuild confidence and stop your self-belief being squashed when an unexpected health scare changes your world? My guest is 'Heart Healthy Living Coach - Crescentia Cook. She specialises in supporting those with Atrial Fibrillation. Her personal experience, knowledge and coaching expertise means this episode will be hugely valuable to you if you are dealing with anxiety that is 'shrinking your world' and messing with your confidence. Plenty of practical tips and resources for you to explore.
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Links to resources mentioned:
Books and events - Dr David Hamilton.  
https://drdavidhamilton.com/More about the science and research into EFT  https://eftinternational.org/discover-eft-tapping/eft-science-research/Havening https://www.havening.org/Crescentia Cook's website: www.hearthealthylivingcoach.co.uk
 
How Emotions Are Made - Dr Lisa Feldman Barrett
 
Rough TRANSCRIPT
 
- and more on 'Unsquashing' - head over to my website here. 
https://trishalewis.com

147: Take Back Your Power. Gerri McHugh

Self belief includes working on your sense of agency - taking back your power.  You have more power to create change in yourself and in the world than you realise. My guest Gerri McHugh is the founder of Global Health Film - her life and work challenges have meant nurturing her own self belief and that of her film makers too! But how exactly...?
 
PDF Transcript here
Gerri McHugh on LinkedIn
Global Health Film Website
Referenced in this episode:
Quotes:  
J M Storm - Find on Instagram or his poetry book on Amazon
Valentina White's chapter in: 'Creating Success: Entrepreneurs & Changemakers Share Wisdom on Achieving Success on Your Own Terms' - Amazon
TV series - My Mum Your Dad with Davina McCall - ITVx
 
Want to know more about 'unsquashing' self belief?  Visit my website.

146: Self Belief - What is it?

What does Self Belief feel like? Tricky to answer isn't it? In this episode I use the '5 Whys' questioning technique to dig a little deeper on that 'self belief feeling' thing. 
This questioning leads to another 2-word phrase - 'self squashing'. What is that? Well listen to this short unsquasher episode to find out.
Talking of 'self' - self awarness is an essential ingredient in finding and nurturing your unsquashed self - and that means doing forensics on the FIBs that hold you back -  that stands for something - listen and discover.
As always - the insights and the tips are for all us humans trying to live with joy, impact and growth in a fascinatingly complex world.
Want to explore 'Unsquashing' more?
My book:  The Mystery of the Squashed Self
TEDx Talk:  Beware the Self Squashing Prophecy
And sign up for my (non salesy) Unsquashed email. 

145: Recognise this Self Doubt Trigger. Trisha Lewis

Self doubt - if you are human you will know that feeling. But what about when it pops up seemingly randomly? What triggers that uncomfortable feeling of uselessness that can have you falling down the self-doubt spiral! This short episdoe explores squashing environmental triggers. I share great quotes from Ethan Cross, author of 'Chatter' and Dr. Tim O'Brien, author of "'Inner Story' and a tiny bit of basic psychology!
Remind yourself of the significance of self-awareness in identifying and addressing triggers that send you whizzing down the self-doubt spiral.
I share a personal experience and provides tips on activating a detective mindset to prevent falling into these spirals. Understanding the impact of environmental factors such as music, views, and workspace on our mood and self-confidence. 
This short episode packs a punch - encouraging listeners to regain control over their thoughts and emotions through self-awareness and curiosity
 
Self-doubt spirals and environmental triggers
Importance of self-awareness in identifying and addressing triggers
Activating a detective mindset to prevent self-doubt spirals
Environmental triggers affecting mood and self-confidence
Taking control of our environment to prevent self-doubt spirals
Examples of environmental triggers (music, views, workspace)Personal experience of overcoming self-doubt triggered by depressing music
Regaining confidence and joy by changing the environment
Importance of regaining control over thoughts and emotions
Power of self-awareness in preventing self-doubt spirals
ROUGH TRANSCRIPT OF EPISODE 
For more on 'staying unsquashed' - head to my website and follow me on LinkedIn.
 
For video of this episode PLUS more self-belief and confident communicator tips - head to my YouTube channel -  https://www.youtube.com/c/TrishaLewisTalks
 

144: The Power of Asking for Help: Guest Beverley Poole

Business mentor Beverley Poole gets real about the power of asking for help and we explore the challenge of asking for help. Beverley starts by sharing her unsquashing journey - she shares her experiences of working in a male-dominated environment and dealing with a difficult marriage and being a single parent. We talk about the importance of resilience, reflection, and gratitude in overcoming these challenges. Beverley emphasizes the need for a trusted support system and the value of living by one's own values. The conversation concludes with a discussion on the importance of communication, authenticity, and seeking support for personal and professional growth.
 
Beverley shares her insights such as:
The Stop Start Continue method
The 'who' and the 'woo-woo' people in your tribe!
Scaffolding (theory of psychology)
The stages of child development - and the challenges of lockdown.
 
She refers to my TEDx Talk - Beware the Self Squashing Prophecy -
and a poem - A Reason, A Season, A Lifetime. - this is that poem:
 
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,you will know what to do for each person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON,it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.They have come to assist you through a difficulty;to provide you with guidance and support;to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.They may seem like a godsend, and they are.They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON,because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.They may teach you something you have never done.They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
~ Author Unknown
 
Articles and links to videos on the topic of 'Unsquashing' - communication, confidence, self belief - PLUS a full transcript of this episode are available at trishalewis.com/podcast

143: The Perfectionist Trap. Trisha Lewis Short Summer Unsquasher.

Trisha Lewis, the host of the podcast "Unsquashed," provides tips on overcoming the fear of making mistakes or 'not knowing something' in a podcast guesting, meeting or panel setting. She emphasizes the importance of embracing imperfection and not striving for perfection.
Trisha discusses the negative consequences of constantly striving for perfection and suggests taking a rational approach to the fear response. She encourages listeners to recognize their value as contributors and to view mistakes as learning opportunities. Trisha reassures listeners that making mistakes in these situations, usually only results in feeling 'a bit awkward' and urges them to step out of their comfort zones.
 
This episode explores:
 
Overcoming the fear of making mistakes
Embracing imperfection and not striving for perfection
The negative effects of constantly striving for perfection
Recognizing that it's impossible to know everything
Making mistakes as a valuable learning experience
Reflecting on the reasons why you were asked to be on a panel or podcast
Emphasizing the value of experiences, wisdom, questions, curiosity, and insights
Not knowing everything leading to thought-provoking discussions and debates
The worst-case scenario of making a mistake
Using mistakes as an opportunity for growth and further exploration
Complete transcript and more Unsquashing resources at www.trishalewis.com

142: Grow Your Confidence: With Fay Wallis

Career Coach Fay Wallis is frequently faced with clients who say 'I just want to be more confident'.  Confidence dips are human. But what is confidence? How do we work on growing our self-confidence and feeling more confident in our thoughts, actions and feelings? This episode unpacks all of this and more.
 
We explore:
The Self-depricating habit
The myth of - everyone has it together
The power of 'yet'
Growth and fixed mindset
Triggers of confidence dips
The brain-body effect
The power of small steps
 
Connect with Fay Wallis -  LinkedIn, Website.
 
RESOURCES MENTIONED:
Imposter Syndrome - Research conducted by Clance and Imes in the 1970s. 
Book: Mindset by Dr. Carol Dweck
Book: "How Emotions Are Made" by Dr. Lisa Feldman
Podcast Episode: "How to be More Assertive" - Episode 91 of the HR Coffee Time podcast
Timestamp: 00:12:37 
Five Whys - Link to the technique 
 
TOPIC TIMESTAMPS - 
The self-deprecating trap [00:04:48]Faye shares a personal story about how she used to make self-deprecating jokes and how her boss called her out on it.
Confidence as a common struggle [00:08:05]Faye discusses how confidence is a recurring issue for about 98% of her clients, including those in senior roles.
Addressing specific confidence issues [00:10:41]Faye shares advice she received about tackling confidence issues by identifying the specific areas where individuals lack confidence.
The importance of narrowing down specific issues [00:11:42]Discussion on how to identify and address specific areas of lacking confidence.
The impact of negative self-judgment on confidence [00:13:44]Exploration of how self-criticism and negative self-judgment can affect confidence levels.
The power of a growth mindset [00:16:03]Explanation of the concept of a growth mindset and its positive impact on confidence and personal development.
The blips of self-doubt during transitions [00:25:36]Discussion on how transitions, such as stepping into a new role or returning to work after a break, can trigger moments of self-doubt and fear of the unknown.
Understanding the physical reactions of fear and excitement [00:28:09]Explanation of how the body's fight or flight response can cause physical symptoms like shaking, clammy hands, and a creaky voice, and how reframing these reactions as signs of excitement can help boost confidence.
Practical tip: Recognizing the brain's role in emotions [00:30:09]Recommendation of the book "How Emotions Are Made" by Dr. Lisa Feldman as a resource for understanding how the brain processes emotions, helping to debunk the myth that there is something inherently wrong with oneself.
The power of small steps [00:33:26]Taking small steps towards building confidence, such as adjusting body language, can have a significant impact.
Building confidence through tiny steps [00:35:42]Progressing gradually and consistently with small steps can lead to increased confidence in any area.
Confidence comes through action [00:37:47]Confidence is not something you are born with, but rather something that is developed through taking action and trying.
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Unsquashing insights and small step actions to explore - just listening to this conversation will have you feeling more motivated - which is all part of confidence!
Also available at www.trishalewis.com
Follow me for more unsquashing tips - including links to - 
THE unsquashing book - The Mystery of the Squashed Self
and my TEDx talk - Beware the self squashing prophecy.

141: Sort Barriers with Your Inner Detective

When self-doubt spirals hold you back - it's time to harness your curiosity to crush the imposter syndrome and frustration demons.  I call this using your 'detective mindset' and this short episode shows you how to use this tool in a very practical way. 
This is one of the short summer unsquasher episodes - let me know how you find this format!
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For a video version of this episode head to my YouTube channel (subscribe while you are there!)
For regular reframes to keep you fresh - subscribe to my 'Unsquashed' fortinightly non-salesy email!
Learn more about staying 'unsquashed' over at trishalewis.com.
Check out my TEDx - Beware the Self Squashing Prophecy
And a valuable resource (with a unique twist) - my book - The Mystery of the Squashed Self.
 
 

140: Unsquash Your Creativity: With Bee Higgins

In this eye-opening episode, we're talking all about creativity and how to truly embrace it, featuring the inspiring story of Bee Higgins – creative copywriter, messaging mentor, and Crohn's disease warrior. Bee's journey to creative success started with a pause in her studies, a pinch of stubbornness, and a whole lot of individualism that led her to turn her unique abilities into a thriving business.
 
But, guess what - I also share my own story of feeling "self-squashed" and relate to Bee's rebellious nature. Together, we remind you that creativity is innate in all of us and doesn't always have to result in a masterpiece. Break free from those fears and societal pressures, and revel in the small creative acts of everyday life.
 
This engaging conversation also addresses the importance of authenticity in content creation, and how the one-size-fits-all approach is simply NOT the way to go. Find what works for YOU and create that perfect space for exploration, experimentation, and play. Remember, it’s all about embracing your authentic self and expressing your creativity in the way that feels right for you.
 
Now it's time to give yourself some grace, spark that creativity, and listen to this game-changing episode. Discover the power of authenticity and learn how little acts of creativity can make a big impact.
 
Join Bee and me and the countless other individuals who refuse to conform to limitations and expectations – tune in now and let this podcast help unsquash and unleash your calm, or maybe crazy, creativity!